Tay and Me

Photo credit - plrang

Like a freeze frame photo, capturing that one instant moment of joy, laughter, tears, fear and sadness, I stared at her beauty of vision. Her red hair captured my intentions and her green eyes coloured my life and made me gasp for breath. I blushed as she looked up at me from the other side of the table, she caught me looking at her...soaking in her existence.

The tea room at work buzzed with people scoffing down lunch and yet through all the hype, noise and chatter, we shared a silent moment in heart beats. That silent connection of two people longing to be with another and it was then we saw each other.

Never before had we exchanged the idea of interest and never before had either of us been so open about it. We stared into each others eyes as if we saw each other for the first time, as if life its self was glowing alert signals of inhibitions spared.

The words 'girlee spot' flicked brightly in fluorescent pink. I liked the atmosphere of the club, I could be my true self. No masks and no hiding.

A group of girls stood close to me and their laughter exploded as they teased a girl sitting alone at the bar. She had been there for many hours, just sitting, staring deep into her drink. Stirring the ice cubes around and around with her straw. I was so occupied with fitting into this ignorant group of people I had not even looked at her and had blindly laughed at their hurtful comments.

“Look at her,” one girl said, stretching out her arm and with a sharp finger pointed.
Caught up in the shallowness of humanity, I pushed past the girls to spy a look at what dastardly thing sat alone at the bar. As I pushed through the crowd she turned to walk out and we stood face to face...it was Taylor.

We had worked together for three years. Pleasant and friendly, she kept some what to herself. What would she think of me being at this place......what did she think I thought of her being at the same club. Keeping work life and private life separate was easy up to now, but now I felt like a naughty little girl with my hand in the cookie jar.

“Hi Jilly,” her voice cheerfully.
“Hi Tay,” I mumbled out, ashamed of my primitive behaviour.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her red hair hung gracefully on her shoulders...she always wore it up at work...she flicked her hair back and a piece fell over her face, without thinking I gently brushed it aside, her hand caught mine and in that second my pulse raced around my body faster than a V8 hot lap.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Tay asked,
“Strong bow,” I answered.
She let go off my hand, I'm not ever washing my hand again...and put my hand in my pocket as if to preserve the impression she left.

The crowd I'd been hanging with stumbled into me...their fill of liquor obvious from the slur of words.
“What are you doing?” Their ignorance now became annoying. How the hell did I end up with them?
I looked at Tay and longed to take her...her smile said it was ok to leave, but no, I wanted to be with her.
“I'm having a drink with Tay,”
The group screwed up their faces like a pug dog and stumbled back into each other as they wafted back to the dance floor.

“You don't have to stay,” Tay said doubting how much she was affecting me.
“Yes I'm staying...” I said confidently... “I want to know how this ends...”

Gin and Tonic for me please...

The room felt like I was standing on a white sandy beach on a deserted island. The sand squished between my toes and my long hair blown and tangled by the afternoon breeze. Licking my lips I could taste the salt from the sea spray and squinting my eyes to peer through the hazy smoke hoping to spy a face I might recognise. I lifted my Gin and Tonic to my dry lips and sucked it down, cringing as the gin burnt the back of my throat.


A guy looked in my direction and my heart began to beat faster and my palms became sweaty that I nearly dropped my drink. To avoid his eye contact I made out that I was looking at my watch. Thank gawd for that, the last thing I needed was some guy pinning me down to rattle off his exploits.
I kept scanning the room for a familiar face or a laugh I recognised, but nothing, no one.
If I don't see someone soon I know I'm just going to burst.


I flicked my hair back and put my hand on my hip trying to look casual. I took another swig of my drink and it went down the wrong way and I began chocking; I was spitting and spurting the gin back out when I noticed her.


Ok then, chat time, go for it.
I regained some composure and gently patted my lips with the serviette they gave me at the bar with my drink. I tried tucking my hand in my pocket and remembered I was wearing a skirt, I slowly sauntered over to her, being mind-full to take small steps in fear of slipping over on my high heels. Not a good look to see a woman sprawled, legs in ever direction on her back with knickers up her crack on the dance floor...
“Hi,” I said relieved that my ankles and elastics were in tact.


Gracious as ever, she took her hand and with her thumb brushed a splash of gin off my chin...yes kiss me now...just do it...
Embarrassed, I felt my cheeks blush and thought great now she thinks I'm a slob. I held the drink up and plainly stated it was not my first choice of alcohol beverage, I'd rather a cold frothy beer and to show that I was capable of making an informed decision, I promptly signalled the bar attendant.


I slammed the glass that had housed my gin and tonic down on the bar and it sloshed out over my hand. She giggled at my feeble attempt of impressing her. Leaning over the bar to hear the bar tender and shout my request of drinks we knocked heads...great not only am I a slush but an idiot as well...'beer and...' I pointed at the drink she held and the bartender nodded.


I sipped my frothy cold beer and smiled as I looked into her green eyes. She was amused or interested...whatever, she was still here. She stepped in closer and her soft lips touched mine...oh yes...yes...her tongue slid out and she licked my beer moustache, great...turned on by a beer moustache licking lesbian.


I felt the room vibrate and heard cheers from the crowd as the music grew louder. She took my hand and led me to the dance floor and it seemed like eternity before she danced around my body. Every now and then, teasingly, she bumped into me.


Unable to delay gratification, I grabbed her and pulled her to me, my breath quickened with her vivacious smile. Her hand went up the back of my blouse and shivers of anticipation rocketed through my system. She lent in and kissed my neck and whispered “You know, every woman in this room has eye's for me...” yep that was obvious, “...and you're the one I want.”

The Protector

Photo credit - Thenys

There was nothing usual about the way the days events unfolded. It was near perfect weather wise. The tropic's in the spring could turn on fantastic sunny days with a hint of a cool breeze.

I had agreed to drop a letter off for my brother to a place where I knew that someone else would be.

I hoped she didn't think I was following her. I wasn't stalking her but I wanted to make it look like an accidental meeting if we did bump into each other. I'd act all coy saying I'd forgotten she'd be here.

I was a little embarrassed too. I was total in love with this women. The way She plays with her long black hair and circles it around her finger. Her beautifully green eyes brighten as she smiles. Never before had I experienced such feelings.

As I stood out front and stared at my reflection in the automatic opening doors I thought, I'll just walk in real quick, drop the letter and walk out. Quick as a flash she won't even know I was there.

I took a deep breathe and walked in. I wish I could of hit reverse and backed straight out but as the young man spun around and pointed his gun at me I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. It tightened not for me but for those I had not seen.

The look on his face showed astonishment. It was obvious when he was planning his day he had not factored in that someone could walk in behind him.

“Fuck” he swore.

Fuck, I thought.

His hand was shaky, sweat beaded on his forehead and he hadn't shaved for days. When he spoke there was a definite nervous crackle in his voice.

“Who the fuck are you?” he demanded.

“I'm Jilly...I'm just quickly dropping this letter off for my brother,” I noticed the nervous crackle in my voice too.

He dropped his eyes to the envelope I held in my hand and then using the gun he beckoned me in.

I put the letter on the counter and when I turned back my heart sunk. There was a group of about ten people sitting on the floor. They were huddled together some whimpering in fear and others dumb struck by it. I swallowed a large hard lump that found it's way to my throat. There she was, sitting with her knees up tight close to her chest. She looked and caught my eye. Her stare was one of confusion as to why I was there and then to concern as I stood two feet away from the gunmen.

I looked at her and hoped my expression told her it was going to be ok. I half smiled. My first instinct was grab her and run. But this young man stood in my way. I looked back at him his blond hair all messed up and his eyes dark from lack of sleep. Pure adrenalin kept him upright.

Suddenly reality check slapped me in the face and I could again see my reflection in the automatic doors but when I looked at him the reflection did not change. I saw my own mirror image of a time I too stood in his shoes.

The protector in me was always a strong reaction and feeling that I had nurtured from a young age. Thinking back to a time when at school I would protect the young school children from the bully's. Nearly everyday going home with a bruise or two from a fight. It was automatic like the doors, a finely tuned sensor of emotions to save not only the hostages but the young man as well.

I leaned into him and whispered “hey this is really gonna sound nuts but you know twenty years ago when I was your age I wanted to do this,” he frowned at me confused, I continued “I wanted to kill someone,” his confusion turned quickly to intrigue and he prompted to ask who but no words uttered from his dry mouth. I took a step closer and answered his wordless question “my uncle.”
He glanced at the huddle of people on the floor and I took another step closer “he raped me,”
The young lad looked back at me and for a glimpse I thought I saw compassion in his eyes.


Frightened and confused he stepped toward me and pressed the gun to my stomach. His eyes searching mine for truth. Telepathically I told him my story...I had dreamt I had envisioned I had chosen to do what this young man was doing twenty years ago. I had plotted to kill the man that stole my life. I had been in pain and just like the young man frustrated and confused. I had planned it and I was prepared to go to jail for it...


I looked at the young man as if seeing him for the first time. I felt compassion sweep through me for the lost feeling he was experiencing, the feeling of utter hopelessness, despair and guilt. He was suffering from the effects of another person not taking responsibility for their actions and he was suffering the consequences as if they were his own.


I told this young man the plot I had planned the term of jail I was prepared to endure the regret of decisions and then I told him why I had not followed through with murder.


“You are angry but not at these people, you are angry at someone else who makes you feel insignificant and unworthy” I paused “you are not to blame for this you must put the anger back onto the person who has hurt you.”


He dropped his hand and removed the gun pointing at my stomach. He looked at me and then turned his back to me and placed the gun to his temple. Shit no I thought not like this.


I ran forward and put one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist and bear hugged him. I felt him quiver in my arms as his knees buckled from under him and he collapsed to the floor.


I looked over at the crowd of hostages and every one was looking at me. Stunned by the scene that had just unfolded before them. I nodded for them to go outside and one by one they got up. As she walked passed me she stopped and looked at me her eyes beguiled by the event she had witnessed. I smiled at her and ushered her to go outside.


I sat down next to the young man the gun laying between us.
“You know that the police will come and want to talk to you,”
He nodded.
“Don't be afraid this is how your healing begins,”
He looked at me and the tears in his eye's told me his story.

Alternate ending....

I ran forward and put one arm over his shoulder and the other around his waist and bear hugged him. I felt him quiver in my arms as his knees buckled from under him and he collapsed to the floor.

I looked over at the crowd of hostages and every one was looking at me. Stunned by the scene that had just unfolded before them. I nodded for them to go outside and one by one they got up. As she walked passed me she stopped and looked at me, her eyes beguiled by the event she had witnessed. I smiled at her and ushered her to go outside.


Covered in his blood, tears swelled in my eyes, as I held his body in my arms, I swore to the young man his abuser would not go unpunished, somehow and by some means I would tell his secret.