24 May 2010
Chalet Red Tree
There was a note stuck in Michelle's front door.
It simple declared, I am in love with you. Lets meet at Chalet Red Tree. Say 7pm.
Michelle quickly looked around waiting for that...you're on candid camera...But nothing. She re read the note. The paper was crisp and had a slight perfume to it. The calligraphy was perfect.
Michelle began to blush, who would love me...she thought...I'm just some girl from the country, who likes horses and red wine.
Michelle re read the note for a 3rd time. Meet at 7pm...what tonight? Michelle questioned.
Michelle felt bemused, someones got to be having a laugh, she giggled to herself. Then a grip of fear knotted in her stomach. Oh god it could be some stalker or disgruntled person I pissed off, or it could be some homophobes. Michelle let her mind run wild with every reason that seemed rational as to why it was best not to go.
Michelle gave way to doubting that she was beautifully and inspiring. How her laugh filled others with joy and completeness. Her caring and warm smile lightening the dull day of many passerby. That Michelle was passionate and genuine. Her honesty and integrity pulled others into her safe fold. Why wouldn't some one fall in love with her?
Feeling foolish and embarrassed that someone had played such a cruel joke, Michelle resided to the fact that a night in was much better. Not wanting to face the possibility that it was true. Not wanting to face the possibility that she was worthy of being loved.
The old clock on the mantle struck 7 and with a deafening dong snapped Michelle into a mad panic. What if this is the only chance I ever have to be loved and I'm sitting here eating cheerios. Michelle anxiously thought.
Cruel joke or not, Michelle needed to know. For years she put it out there to beloved and suddenly realised she couldn't slap the universe in the face.
Michelle bolted out the door and ran to her car. It would take at least 20 minutes to drive to the Chalet Red Tree. Then as if on cue a flash of lights reflected in the revision mirror. Fuck. It was the Police.
The officer asked "And were are you off to in such a hurry?"
Michelle fumbled for an answer.
The officer again "Are you alright Miss?"
Michelle said "Yes, Why?"
The officer replied "Its just you don't seemed dressed to be going out anywhere"
It was then Michelle noticed she was wearing her pyjamas.
Feeling her cheeks turn red, Michelle said "I'm ok, really I am".
Putting the speeding ticket in her pocket, Michelle continued on.
It was now 7:45. The note writer would not of waited this long. Stood up, the note writer has probably gone home. Feeling silly for coming, Michelle hesitated. Fiddling with her pyjamas, Michelle tried to gain some sort of composure. It was abit late for that, she thought.
Walking into the bar Michelle looked for anyone she knew, but no face she recognised.
Yep the note writer had gone. Michelle thankfully said to herself.
Plonking herself on a bar stool the bar attendant looked amused.
Smiling and giggling at the same time, Michelle said "Just one of those day".
Agreeing the bar attendant nodded.
Michelle hung her head. I was right, a cruel joke, she said to herself.
"Elmo, I like Elmo." A voice from behind commented being directed at the patten on Michelle's Pj's.
I know that voice Michelle confirmed to herself.
Michelle turned and smiled. Then said "I was hoping it was you."
Read more: http://imaginifbusiness.blogspot.com/2010/05/power-of-two.html
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Flash Fiction
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lol....very cute ending. Nice slip in of the reference to homophobes too. I noticed it ;) Was the person Michelle hoping to meet a male or a female? Did they have their pyjamas on too? I actually loved that bit, really full of symbolism and loneliness.
ReplyDeleteWatch your tense again - always write in the same tense. This would be something an editor picked up on immediately. Also watch your spelling and use of common replacement words such as your (ownership) and you're (you are). This might be helpful: http://www.english-zone.com/verbs/your1.html
It's funny how three out of four of us have so far used relationships in the writer's prompt.
Next month I am planning that all of us will send our writings to a particular prompt to a place that is accepting unsolicitored submissions. It will be interesting to see if anyone gets accepted and if any feedback is offered.
Thanks Megan
ReplyDeleteYes my Tense, I do have stuff that up. I get so carried away...doddling no doubt.
Can you give me an axample of where I started to loose my tense.
Oh I love this post :-) Kinda like a fairy story in pyjamas - which is the best kind of story lol.
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't make it four out of four Megan - I am a bit of a hermit and relationships are way off my radar lol
ReplyDeleteThanks MG,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you liked it and I enjoyed writing it.