"It's a conspiracy you know. They have a cure for cancer, but because they can make more money in pretending not to have found a cure, millions of innocent people are left with shattered lives." My Dad told us.
If I get my hands on them bastards that have kept this secret, well my army training might come in handy. Dad tried to comfort me, but I wouldn't let him. If I knew then that in 9 months time he would take his own life, I would have wrapped my arms around his neck and never let go.
I couldn't help believe in what Dad was saying. They can send a man to the moon, but can't find the miracle cure. Bullshit.
Angry, bitter, hell yes, and don't even get me started on the God thingy. No no, lets, God is almighty and powerful, He created all things. That includes cancer. Now I was told that God wanted my Mum in Heaven with Him. Just slap me in the face again why don't you! God is a selfish being. He can stop cancer and every other bad thing in this world in less than a blink of an eye. But no, He doesn't, Why? Because God has a point to prove. Yes that's right and with whom? Satan of course. Now remember God created everything and that includes Satan.
So, yes, God can stop this at any time He likes and how many have died because God has an ego?
It had only been 2 days since cancer took my Mum. Give me that fucking cancer, cos I'm gonna belt the living shit out of it. I was inconsolable. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I just walked in and out of the room Mum had died in. I laid on the bed where she took her last breathe. I could smell her, but more over I could hear how she repeatedly gasped for air. Her lungs dead.
So, do not tell me that God wanted my Mum more than me and do not tell me that my Mum is in a better place. Because God knew I need my Mum and the best place for my Mum was right here on Earth with us kids.
Time doesn't heal the wound, it only reminds me of how many days it has been since I heard my Mum's voice. The empty hole left in my heart is wide open and cancer put it there.
Raise your hand if you have ever thought about giving your own life so that someone you love could survive. Darn wish I had more arms. I would give my life if given the ultimatum...my life for the cure. It's a no brainer.
My heart sinks when I see all the beautiful people that are or have been effected by this atrocious monster. I become passionately angry. Give us the cure, you selfish pricks.
I feel scared for those of us left behind. So where is that miracle cure? Stop the dying. Stop it now!
More money is needed. Donate what you can. Every politician take a 5% pay cut.
In 2 weeks time, it will be the 3rd year since my Mum lost her brave battle with cancer.
I still want to run and hide, but I solider on. With all my fears and emotions and yes my very opinionated opinions. I do it and I do it for my Mum. Still Love you Mum and forever will.
I give what I can, when I can and I hope that it helps.
More Reading: Vitamin B17/ Amygdalin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdalin
or Laetrile http://www.b17.com.au/default.asp
See also: http://imaginifbusiness.blogspot.com/2010/05/know-your-symbolism-when-public.html
Very, very powerful, Julie. Perhaps you should come with me to the Morning Tea? Would be a lovely tribute to your Mum.
ReplyDeleteI met your Mum when she came up....it seems so long ago now. I remember how I felt devastated for you when I learned she had lost her fight. I didn't know though that your Dad had suicided. What a double tragedy.
My love to you today, Julie, as you are reflecting on your Mum's life.
Mxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks Megan,
ReplyDeleteI have just revised the first post. Needed to add more to it.
I had forgotton you had met my Mum. I am now reflecting and I am honoured you got to do so.
Yes it was a tragedy, but between losing Mum and Dad, I also lost my Nana. All 3 gone in 10 months.
I would love to come to the morning tea with you. In fact this year and just because of where I am on other matters has given me the strength to be brave enough to do so.
I do have an appointment first thing on that Tuesday, but as soon as I am done, I will come.
P.S. Mum's Rule !!
There are no winners with cancer, and the toll it takes is far wider than just those who don't make it, or those who are survivors. It's insidious claws reach out to the family and friends of the patient (can I use that word?).
ReplyDeleteAn amazing post JG ...
Thanks MG,
ReplyDeleteYes you can use that word.
I like the claws, yes they grab hold of us all, no one is immuned, are we?